WHAT YOU SHOULD FUCKING DO DURING WAR OPS: THE DEFINITIVE GUIDE

• ARE YOU FUCKING PISSED ABOUT THE TIMES WHEN MEDBAY IS CARPETED WITH FUNGAL TB VICTIMS AND THE CMO SITS IN HER PRETTY BIOSUIT TWIDDLING HER THUMBS?
• ARE YOU FUCKING PISSED AT SCIENCE FOR RESEARCHING ADVANCED MINING BECAUSE SOME SPOILED BRAT MINER WANTS IT?
• WELL, YOU CAN BEAT PEOPLE ON THEIR HEAD (NOT THAT IT'LL DO MUCH WITH ALL THAT WATER INSIDE) WITH THIS FUCKING GUIDE THEN.

МЕД БЕЙ

СМО

• СТАВЬ АВАРИЙНЫЙ ДОСТУП НА ВСЕ ДВЕРИ МЕД БЕЯ
• БЕГОМ ДЕФИБЫ В СТОЙКИ ЗАСУНУЛ
• Я НЕ ЗНАЮ ИДИ ЗАЙМИСЬ ЧЕМ-ТО ПОЛЕЗНЫМ (СДЕЛАЙ ЛЕКАРСТВО ОТ ГРИБКОВОГО ТУБЕРКУЛЁЗА)

МЕДИК/ВИРУСОЛОГ/ХИМИК

ПИЗДУЙТЕ ДЕЛАТЬ ХИМИКАТЫ ЭТО НЕ СЛОЖНО

• ШАГ 1: ВОЗЬМИТЕ 30u БУТЫЛКУ С ЭПИНЕФРИНОМ (ОНИ БЛЯТЬ ПОВСЮДУ)
• ШАГ 2: ПИЗДУЙ В ХИМИЮ
• ШАГ 3: ВОЗЬМИ КОЛБУ, ЛЕЙ 10u КИСЛОРОДА, КАЛИЙ, САХАР
• ШАГ 4: СМЕШАЙ ЭПИНЕФРИН И КРИПТОБОЛИН
• ШАГ 5: МОЛОДЕЦ У ТЕБЯ ЕСТЬ 60u СПЕЙСЦИЛИНА
• ШАГ 6: СПИЗДИ PERFLUORODECALIN ИЗ ОКСИ АПТЕК, ИЛИ ПРОСТО СДЕЛАЙ
• ШАГ 7: СМЕШАЙ 50u PERFLUORODECALIN С 50u СПЕЙСЦИЛИНА КОТОРЫЕ ТЫ СДЕЛАЛ
• ШАГ 8: ТЕБЕ НУЖНЫ ОНИ ОБА, PERFLUORODECALIN И СПЕЙСЦИЛИН В ОРГАНИЗМЕ, ЧТОБЫ ИЗЛЕЧИТЬ ГРИБКОВЫЙ ТУБЕРКУЛЁЗ
• ШАГ 9: ПРЕВРАТИТЕ 100u В 10 ТАБЛЕТОК, ТУБЕРКУЛЁЗ ИМЕЕТ ЕБУЧИЙ ШАНС ИЗЛЕЧИТЬСЯ С ШАНСОМ 5 ПРОЦЕНТОВ, ЧТО ОЗНАЧАЕТ, ЧТО ЧЕМ БОЛЬШЕ ВКОЛИШЬ, ТЕМ ЛУЧШЕ.

• ШАГ 10 (ОПЦИОНАЛЬНО): КОГДА ВЫ КОГО-ТО ИЗЛЕЧИЛИ, ВОЗЬМИТЕ ЕГО КРОВЬ, И ТАЩИТЕ В ГОЛОДЕК ИЛИ ВИРУСОЛОГИЮ. ЕСЛИ ВЫ В ГОЛОДЕКЕ, ЗАПУСКАЙТЕ МЕДИЦИНСКИЙ СИМУЛЯТОР, ВСУНЬТЕ ОБРАЗЕЦ ВНУТЫРЬ PANDEMIC MACHINE. ТАМ БУДЕТ КНОПКА СДЕЛАТЬ ВАКЦИНУ, ЖМИ, МИНУС ОДИН ВИРУС НА СТАНЦИИ. ТАК НАМНОГО ЭФФЕКТИВНЕЕ, ЭТО БЕСКОНЕЧНЫЙ ИСТОЧНИК ЛЕКАРСТВА.

ВИРУСОЛОГ

• ТЫ ДЕЛАЕШЬ ВИРУС ЛЕЧЕНИЯ
• СУКА, ГРИБКОВЫЙ ТУБЕРКУЛЁЗ СИЛЬНЕЕ ТВОЕГО ВИРУСА И УНИЧТОЖИЛ ЕГО
• МОРАЛЬ ИСТОРИИ: ТВОЙ ЁБАНЫЙ МАЛЕНЬКИЙ ДРУГ НЕ СПОСОБЕН ПРОТИВОСТОЯТЬ ЁБАНОМУ ГРИБКОВОМУ ТУБЕРКУЛЁЗУ
• НЕ ДЕЛАЙ ЕБУЧИЕ ВИРУСЫ
• ВООБЩЕ-ТО ГРИБКОВЫЙ ТУБЕРКУЛЁЗ ПОПАДАЕТСЯ РЕЖЕ, ЧЕМ БЕЛОЕ СОБАЧЬЕ ДЕРЬМО
• ПРОСТО НЕ ДЕЛАЙ РЕГЕНЕРАТИВНУЮ КОМУ, ВЕРОЯТНО ИЗ-ЗА НЕГО ВЫ ВСЕ УМРЁТЕ
• НЕ ПЫТАЙСЯ ЗАРАЗИТЬ ОПЕРАТИВНИКОВ "КОСМО-СПИДОМ", ОНИ В РИГАХ ЁБАНЫЙ РЕТАРД

ПОДСКАЗКИ

• В ХОЛОДИЛЬНИКАХ ВИРУСОЛОГИИ ЕСТЬ 4 ШПРИЦА С СПЕЙСЦИЛИНОМ
• ЭТО ОЗНАЧАЕТ ЧТО БЕЗ ХИМИИ У ВАС ЕСТЬ, 120u СПЕЙСЦИЛИНА
• БУТЫЛКИ ВАКЦИНЫ ТОЖЕ РАБОТАЮТ, НО ДЛЯ ПРИГОТОВЛЕНИЯ БУТЫЛОК ОТ ВАКЦИНЫ ТРЕБУЕТСЯ КОГО-ТО ВЫЛЕЧИТЬ И ПОТОМ ВЗЯТЬ ЕГО КРОВЬ, НО ПОМНИТЕ, ВЫ НЕ МОЖЕТЕ СДЕЛАТЬ ВАКЦИНУ ДО КАЖДОЙ БОЛЕЗНИ
• ВОЗЬМИТЕ ЛЕТАЛЬНЫЕ ИНЬЕКЦИИ ИЗ "ЦЕНТРА ПЕРЕОБУЧЕНИЯ ЗЕКОВ" В ПЕРМАБРИГЕ И ЗАРЯДИТЕ ИХ В ШПРИЦЕМЁТ
• ОНИ ОЧЕНЬ ЭФФЕКТИВНЫ, ОДНАКО РИГИ ЗАЩИТЯТ ОТ ШПРИЦОВ, НО ЕСЛИ КТО-ТО БУДЕТ БЕЗ РИГА, ОДНО ПОПАДАНИЕ ГАРАНТИРУЕТ ЕГО СМЕРТЬ

ГЕНЕТИК

• ХАЛК СУКА БЕСПОЛЕЗЕН, ПОТОМУ ЧТО У НЮКИ ЕСТЬ ОГНЕСТРЕЛ, И ОНИ НЕ ИСПОЛЬЗУЮТ СТАН
• ТАКЖЕ, ХАЛКИ НЕ МОГУТ ИСПОЛЬЗОВАТЬ ОРУЖИЕ, БЕЗ КОТОРОГО ТВОЮ ЖОПУ БЫСТРО РАЗОРВУТ
• Я СЕРЬЁЗНО, ХАЛК ГОВНО ЕБАНОЕ
• ДВА КОМПЕТЕНТНЫХ ГЕНЕТИКА МОГУТ ПОЛУЧИТЬ ВСЕ 6 СУПЕРСИЛЫ ЗА 20 МИНУТ
• ЗАЩИТА ОТ ХОЛОДА ХОРОША ДЛЯ ЛЮДЕЙ БЕЗ РИГОВ
• ТЕЛЕКИНЕЗ ЗАЕБИСЬ ДЛЯ УБИЙСТВА НЮКОВЦЕВ ВСЯКИХ ХЛАМОМ
• ХРЕЙ ХОРОШ ДЛЯ ТОГО ЧТО БЫ ПИЗДИТЬ НЮКОВЦЕВ ХЛАМОМ ИЗ ТЕХОВ
• ХАМЕЛИОН ЗАЕБИСЬ ДЛЯ ТОГО ЧТО БЫ ПИЗДИТЬ НЮКОВЦЕВ ХЛАМОМ ИЗ ТЕХОВ, И ПРИ ЭТОМ БЫТЬ НЕВИДИМЫМ
• ДВАРФ, НУ, ХОРОШ ДЛЯ НАЁБА НА ДЕНЬГИ ОПЕРОВ В БАРЕ
• ХАЛК ГОВНО БЛЮЮЩЕЙ СОБАКИ ВЫСШЕГО УРОВНЯ

НАУЧКА

РД

• SET ALL OF SCIENCE TO EMERGENCY ACCESS
• GO CHANGE THE AI'S LAWS IF THE CAPTAIN HASN'T DONE SO ALREADY
• DRAG THE AI'S ASS OUT OF ITS SATELLITE AND INTO SOME SECLUDED PLACE IN MAINT
• BITCH AT YOUR SUBORDINATES
• BITCH AT THE MINERS FOR WANTING BETTER FUCKING GEAR

УЧЁНЫЕ

• DON'T RESEARCH ADVANCED MINING YOU RETARD
• I SAID DON'T
• BAD DOGGIE

ЧТО ИЗУЧАТЬ

• STEP 1: INDUSTRIAL ENGINEERING
• STEP 2: WEAPON DEVELOPMENT TECHNOLOGY
• STEP 3: BALLISTIC WEAPONRY
• STEP 4: WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU NEED TO RESEARCH TO GET ELECTRIC WEAPONS
• STEP 5: ELECTRIC WEAPONRY
• STEP 6: WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU NEED TO RESEARCH TO GET MEDICAL WEAPONS
• STEP 7: MEDICAL WEAPONRY
• STEP 8: ROLL TIDE (EXCEPT FOR MINING TECH BECAUSE FUCK EM)

• THIS MEANS THAT CARGO DOESN'T WASTE THEIR POINTS ORDERING AUTO RIFLE AMMO CRATES, WHICH ARE FUCKING EXPENSIVE AS FUCK.
• ALSO IT MEANS THAT SECURITY CAN PRINT OUT ION CARBINES FOR THE SYNDIE BORGS WHICH ARE EVERYWHERE THESE DAYS
• MEDICAL WEAPONRY MEANS THAT YOU CAN PRINT OUT PIERCING SYRINGES, WHICH PENETRATE THROUGH NUKE OP HARDSUITS, AND 15U OF LEXORIN DOWNS AN OP FOR LIKE A FULL MINUTE

ЧТО ЕЩЁ

• XENOBIO IS FUCKING USELESS BECAUSE IT CAN'T DO JACK IN 20 MINUTES
• TOXINS IS MOSTLY FOR GENERATING RESEARCH POINTS, I GUESS YOU CAN BOMB THE SYNDIE SHUTTLE IF YOU WANT THOUGH

РОБОТЕХНИК

• MAKE BORGS
• MAKE BORGS
• IF YOU SPAWN WITH RIPLEY BOARDS, BUILD A FIREFIGHTER (DONT BUILD A RIPLEY BECAUSE SOME SYNDIE MECHS USE FLAME WEAPONS)
• STRAP A DRILL ONTO IT
• PILOT IT INTO MANLY BATTLE AGAINST A DARK MAULER
• DRILL THEIR ASSES
• WIN

КАРГО

КВАСТ/ГРУЗЧИК

• MOVE FREIGHT
• MOVE CRATES
• MOVE FREIGHT
• MOLEST CITRUS
• ORDER WT-550 AUTO RIFLE CRATES
• DONT ORDER AUTO RIFLE AMMO CRATES
• DISTRIBUTE GUNS
• SELL ALL OF THE PLASMA THE MINERS BRING BACK
• ORDER MORE AUTO RIFLE CRATES
• DONT ORDER ENERGY GUNS OR OTHER LAME ASS LASER WEAPONRY BECAUSE SYNDIES CAN DEFLECT THEM WITH ESWORDS/ESHIELDS

КВАСТ

• SET ALL OF CARGO TO EMERGENCY ACCESS SO THE GREYTIDE CAN GET THOSE SWEET ASS GUNS
• BITCH AT YOUR SUBORDINATES

ШАХТЁР

• MINE ORE
• MINE PLASMA
• MAYBE KILL AN ASH DRAKE THAT WOULD BE SWEET AS SHIT
• DON'T DIE
• DON'T BITCH AT SCIENCE TO RESEARCH MINING TECH
• DON'T BITCH AT CARGO FOR SHIPPING YOUR ORE TO CENTCOMM
• ACTUALLY BE ON THE STATION AT THE 20 MINUTE MARK
• BUY A MINING HARDSUIT AND AS MANY KA RANGE UPGRADES AS YOU CAN
• GO INTO SPACE
• SHIT ON THE SYNDIES WITH YOUR 40 DAMAGE INFINITE AMMO GUN
• LOLOLOL

ИНЖЕНЕРКА

СЕ

• SET ALL OF ENGINEERING TO EMERGENCY ACCESS FOR EMITTER MEMES
• OPEN SECURE STORAGE
• TOW THE AI OUT OF ITS SATELLITE IF NO ONE ELSE IS WILLING TO

ИНЖЕНЕР

• SET UP THE SUPERMATTER
• SET UP THE SOLARS
• GO TOW SOME EMERGENCY BREACH SHIELDING GENERATOR THINGIES TO THE SUPERMATTER COOLING LOOP SO SYNDIES CAN'T SABOTAGE IT AS EASILY
• MAKE STUNPRODS BECAUSE YOUR ENGI-VEND HAS 10 FUCKING HIGH CAPACITY POWER CELLS
• WAIT FOR THE SUPERMATTER TO BE INEVITABLY BLOWN UP
• DON'T RCD SOME SHITTY ASS DEFENSES IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HALLWAY
• THESE DEFENSES LITERALLY SHATTER IN 2 HITS FROM A L6

АТМОСТЕХ

• SET UP ATMOS
• COOL SOME PLASMA
• COLLECT THE FRIGID PLASMA IN A TANK
• MAKE A FLAMETHROWER
• END UP GASSING THE CAPTAIN
• ACCIDENTALLY OPEN A BZ CANISTER
• OOOOPSIE DAISY

БРИГ

ЧТО ДЕЛАТЬ

• WAIT FOR SCIENCE TO RESEARCH BALLISTIC AND ELECTRIC WEAPONRY, THOSE BASTARDS
• GO TO CARGO
• GRAB AS MUCH METAL, SILVER, AND URANIUM AS YOU CAN FROM THE ORM
• IF THERE ISN'T ENOUGH METAL, GRAB SOME FROM ENGINEERING
• METAL AND SILVER IS FOR PRINTING ARMOR PIERCING AUTO RIFLE AMMO FROM YOUR DEPARTMENTAL PROTOLATHE
• IF YOU'RE SHORT ON SILVER, PRINTING NORMAL AUTO RIFLE AMMO WORKS TOO
• THE ARMOR PIERCING IS BECAUSE THE NUCLEAR OPERATIVES HAVE BULLSHIT ARMOR WHICH NEGATES MOST DAMAGE
• USE THE METAL, SILVER, AND URANIUM TO PRINT OUT ION CARBINES FROM YOUR DEPARTMENTAL PROTOLATHE
• THE ION CARBINE IS FOR DEALING WITH THE FUCKING SYNDIE BORGS AND THE OCCASIONAL SYNDIE MECH

ХОС

• GRAB YOUR SHIT
• OPEN ARMORY
• REMEMBER THAT YOUR OFFICERS GET PRIORITY ON WEAPONS AND GEAR OVER THE GREYTIDE
• DISTRIBUTE THE LEFTOVERS TO THE GREYTIDE
• GIVE YOUR DEPARTMENTAL PROTOLATHE BOARD TO RESEARCH AND DEVELOPMENT BECAUSE RELYING ON YOUR OFFICERS TO PRINT OUT GUNS IS LIKE RELYING ON A DRUNK MANATEE TO SURVIVE INSIDE THE AMAZON FUCKING RAINFOREST
• TRY TO FOLLOW THE CAPTAIN
• CONTRACT TB
• WATCH MEDBAY WALK OVER YOUR GASPING COMATOSE BODY

ВАРДЕН

• OPEN ARMORY
• SET ALL OF BRIG TO EMERGENCY ACCESS
• YOU AND THE SECURITY OFFICERS GET DIBS ON GEAR
• PREPARE FOR WHEN BRIG GETS SYNDIE BOMBED
• ASK FOR THE PINPOINTER FROM THE CAPTAIN
• OH WHATS THAT? A SYNDIE BOMB CONVENIENTLY PARKED OUTSIDE THE ARMORY? OH JOY!

СБ

• ARM UP
• ARM UP
• THROW AWAY YOUR ARMOR VEST AND GRAB SOME BULLETPROOF ARMOR, SYNDIES DON'T USE LASERS FOR SOME REASON
• RUN AROUND
• HARMBATON THE CLOWN
• VALID HUNT

ГЛАВЫ

КАПИТАН

• GET THAT FUKKEN DISK
• SET THE HOP OFFICE TO EMERGENCY ACCESS BECAUSE FUCK THAT GUY
• GO RENAME YOUR STATION TO SOMETHING LIKE "FUCK YOU NUKE OPS"
• GO BREAK YOUR ANTIQUE LASER GUN OUT
• GO CHANGE THE AI'S LAWS
• USE THE FUCKING TELEPORTER FUCKTARD
• ARM UP
• GO MOPE IN CARGO OR BRIG OR SOMETHING
• RUN AWAY
• DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE TRY TO STAND AND FIGHT
• YOU AREN'T AS BADASS OR AS ROBUST AS YOU THINK
• RUN AWAY
• OH WHAT'S THAT? A NICE MAN WITH A L6 AND ADRENALS?

ХОП

• DISTRIBUTE ALL ACCESS
• DISTRIBUTE ALL ACCESS
• LEAVE ALL ACCESS ID CARDS IN THE ID MODIFICATION CONSOLES AT ARRIVALS AND AT THE CAPTAIN'S OFFICE SO PEOPLE CAN GIVE THEMSELVES DIY ALL ACCESS
• DISTRIBUTE ALL ACCESS
• NAG THE CAPTAIN FOR HIS PINPOINTER
• IF THERE IS NO CAPTAIN, DO HIS JOB
• GET STUN PRODDED AND CABLE CUFFED BY THE GREYTIDE

ОБСЛУГА

УБОРЩИК

• UH, CLEAN SHIT I GUESS?
• YOU GET A FREE BIOSUIT SO YOU MIGHT AVOID THE FUNGAL TB APOCALYPSE
• YOU SHOULD ALSO CLEAN THE INFECTED BLOOD STAINS WHICH RESULT FROM THE FUNGAL TB GRENADES
• ROBUST SOME OPS WITH YOUR MOP
• MAYBE SLIP SOME POOR SOD WHO FORGOT TO BUY NO-SLIPS

БАРМЕН

• SAW YOUR SHOTGUN
• HACK THE AUTOLATHE
• PRINT OUT BUCKSHOT SHELLS
• SHOOT THOSE OPERATIVES
• QUADRUPLE/QUINTIPLE SEC IS USEFUL FOR HEALING

ПОВАР

• UH, MAKE FOOD?
• ROBUST THE SHIT OUT OF ANYONE WHO ENTERS YOUR KITCHEN
• MAYBE YOU CAN GET PETE TO AGGRO ONTO THE OPS
• THEN THEY'RE FUCKED

БОТАНИК

• GO INTO CHEMISTRY WITH YOUR SHINY ALL ACCESS ID
• ROBUST THE CHEMISTS
• GET MUTAGEN
• MUTATE TOMATOES INTO BLUESPACE TOMATOES AND KILLER TOMATOES, MUTATE FLY AMANITA INTO DESTROYING ANGEL
• THROW BLUESPACE TOMATOES AT THE OPS TO FUCK WITH THEM
• ACTIVATE YOUR KILLER TOMATOES TO GET THEM TO CHASE THE OPS
• DESTROYING ANGEL CONTAINS SOME OF THE MOST POTENT POISONS IN THE GAME
• THE PROBLEM IS TRYING TO GET THE POISONS INTO THEIR SYSTEM

ГРАЖДАНСКИЕ

АССИСТЕНТ

• GET ALL ACCESS FROM THE HOP
• RAID ARMORY
• RAID BRIG
• RAID CARGO
• GET KILLED THE MOMENT THE OPS ARRIVE
• BITCH IN DEAD CHAT

КЛОУН

• HONK HONK
• ROBUST THE HOP AND STEAL ALL ACCESS EVEN THOUGH HE'S HANDING IT OUT FOR FREE HONK HONK
• SLIP SECURITY
• START A MANHUNT
• THROW THE CAPTAIN OUT THE AIRLOCK
• BWOINK

МИМ

• . . .
• . . .
• . . .???
• ПРОФИТ

КАПЕЛЛАН

• ARM YOURSELF WITH THE HOLY CHAINSAW BLADE OF BITCHTITS
• WALK AROUND LOOKING ALL COOL
• TELL THE TWO ASSISTANTS IN YOUR CHAPEL THAT JESUS HATES THEM
• YOUR CHAPEL GETS BOMBED DUE TO IT BEING CONVENIENTLY NEXT TO DEPARTURES AND BEING MUCH LESS TRAFFICKED
• HAHA

БИБЛИОТЕКАРЬ

• WHIP THE GUNS OUT OF THOSE DASTARDLY SYNDIE'S HANDS
• PICK UP A SYNDIE GUN
• . . .
• GET SHOT UP BY A STECHKIN PISTOL
• WHISPER OUT WGW

АДВОКАТ

• "THE CLOWN'S GOT RIGHTS YOU KNOW"
• ANNOY PEOPLE WITH YOUR PDA MESSAGES
• GET A LYNCH MOB CALLED AGAINST YOU
• RUN AWAY WITH A TIDE OF DAKKA RIGHT BEHIND YOU

РОБОТЫ

ИИ

• BITCH AT THE CREW THAT THE NUCLEAR OPERATIVES ARE HUMAN AND NOT TO HARM THEM YADDA YADDA UNTIL SOMEONE FINALLY CHANGES YOUR LAWS
• THEN BITCH AT THE CREW TO PULL YOUR ASS OUT OF THE SATELLITE
• THEN BITCH AT THE CREW BECAUSE THEY SHOVED YOUR ASS IN PLAIN SIGHT, SMACK IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BRIDGE
• THEN BITCH AT THE CREW ABOUT SUIT SENSORS
• "NUKE OPS AT DEPARTURES"
• PLASMA FLOOD DEPARTURES FOR SHITS AND GIGGLES
• CALL OUT THE LOCATION OF THE CAPTAIN OVER COMMS EVERY COUPLE OF SECONDS

КИБОРГИ

• DON'T BECOME A SERVICE OR JANITOR BORG
• YOU WILL BE DAMNED TO THE NINTH CIRCLE OF CYBORG HELL IF YOU BECOME A SERVICE BORG IN A WAR OPS ROUND
• DO YOUR JOB
• DO YOUR JOB WELL
• OH LOOKIE AN OP
• OH LOOKIE I JUST GOT DISABLED BECAUSE SOME FUCKING SODDING IDIOT OP BROUGHT THE ION RIFLE OVER
• OH LOOKIE I'M FUCKING DEAD
• CRY BECAUSE THE MOST EFFECTIVE WEAPON YOU HAVE IS A FLASH AND THE ROBOTICISTS REFUSE TO INSTALL ANY UPGRADES IN YOU